Part – III

Rise of luminous gods

Section 3: Fall of dark gods

War in the present

Dreams of hope and despair

There was only one major positive event in my nineteen years of attrition against Swati.  It was momentary freedom of active spirit of Dansatim for a short while from Swati. I could see that the active spirit of the girl was for me and just hoped that her husband will free her someday from Swati parsina. She had narrated what happened to my wife shortly after our marriage. Swati killed and usurped the psyche of my wife to rule over me and harass me in retaliation of my past misconduct.  I could also see that the change in her status was momentary; and, active spirit of Dansatim fell under the control of her goddess again to work as a medium for my peril.

In the no ending melee of mine against my alien spirits a dream brought some relief to me in May end ’07. I recorded on 29th of the month “Last night dream between 0210 and 0500 hrs: I’m afloat in a sea, swimming but no end seen. Some boats and some oil-platforms are seen (later) besides some antennae afloat. Lastly reaching close to shore where five or six boats are there, and also a big quartzite boulder. Their relevance is not known. But the message is clear – worldly ocean is over.”

Swati was also a worldly devil and my dream recorded the future of my war with her as well. The dream indicated positive result from my attrition with Swati.  Its first message was: if I have swum for twenty long years, end of sea was not very far after I have reached the oil-platforms and boats of shallow seas. I would reach the shore after transactions related to ONGC establishment are over, the dream indicated. The antennae were signifier of ONGC personnel in my interpretation. Five or six dark dingy boats at the shore were also ONGC men (possibly vile), rocking under the impact of sea waves; and, to be crossed in the last leg of my journey.   The boulder was a unit of land, reminding me of a phrase in Hindi: stone at shore doesn’t rock by myriad waves. It was to be my status if I’m ashore.

 I was not sure about time gap between me in the sea dealing with the ONGC antennae and boats (personnel) before landing on the ground like a boulder.  Period was possibly a few months, or a year or two, I guessed. It was yet a very encouraging dream, I felt.

Transactions with the ONGC people had continued for long, more actively after I came across the possibility of my reappointment in ONGC during 2003. Raha was finished finally rather quickly; SKS, base medium of Trasan, also met the same fate when he moved away as homeless and fallen on July 7, ’07.  Dansatim had told that Tyrut had her own agenda with some ONGC persons who had killed the pregnant wife of Tanrinnar in their past lives. I had already seen that active spirit of Tyrut was dealing with her past enemies at Dehradun. My role was merely to act as an energy-conduit for her from her four culprits as she was executing her punishments upon them. Even Sayela was also eating away the consciousness of some ONGC personnel in the revenge of her past. All these transactions were continuing, and were not over till 2007. 

‘Understand your status and worth’ is a phrase used by boorish people alone, but I faced a day when Swati communicated her message to me in no uncertain terms through a dream of my wife in July 2007. I recorded in my note two days before the month was over “B (my wife) sees (a) leopard of Catal Hoyuk entering the show piece collection and settling there in last night dream. Figure shown (to her) and confirmation attained.”  It was a dream just opposite of the one seen by me in May ’07.

The showcase in my drawing room displays artifacts and gifts gathering with me during my service period.  My wife had seen a big ‘dog-like’ spotted animal entering in the drawing room from the rear door of the house and then getting into the showcase. It lodged itself in the showcase among the items there. There are no dogs in the figures of Catal Hoyuk culture. I showed her a pair of feline figures in a wall painting of the ancient township.

My wife’s reaction was instant, “Yes, this was the animal.” For the remaining half an hour phrase ‘status and worth’ kept   hammering me from mighty Swati of Anatolia.

 Anatolia Museum of Ankara exhibits first throne of human history. A headless statuette of Swati is sitting over it. Animal heads decorating the arms of her throne are also broken away. A sculptor has restored the heads of the goddess as also the animal of the throne.  There is error in the restoration of the animal heads, however. The heads on the original arms of the chair were of leopards, and not of lambs as restored by the sculptor.

The commanding and feared goddess of Catal Hoyuk was a leopard-goddess or parsina.  Dansatim after being enthroned at Catal Hoyuk turned into Swati parsina. She was now   representing a ferocious and commanding leopard-goddess. I was not fighting with the principal-self of human Dansatim as I believed. I was fighting goddess Swati parsina, goddess of Catal Hoyuk communicated to me through the dream of my wife. 

Swati, riding her Leopard, had entered my drawing room and made her place in the showcase containing a dozen exhibits and insignias of Indian deities. Swati, the volcano goddess of Anatolia, was very much entitled to enter the showcase riding over her leopard and rest there like other Indian gods. I was not in the category of Dansatim deified as goddess Swati. I was an ordinary human being, the deity conveyed through the dream. I had forgotten a simple rule in her opinion:  gods rule and command men, men can’t fight gods.

 What foolishness!  I smiled. I was fighting a goddess, and writing in diary quite frequently ‘Swati is finished’. Men die. Gods are ever alive!

My adversary reminded me of an occasion of Kachchh when I had commanded Malun to sleep in the book and wake up after reaching Guwahati. I had not commanded Malun alone. Lonkha and Swati were riding over her. Malun disobeyed me.  She was very much awake and kicking, she had demonstrated by evening. Swati conveyed the same status of mine once again through the dream of my wife. “Goddess Swati is invincible for a man like you” was the communication from Swati parsina.