Part – III

Rise of luminous gods

Section 2: Wounds of the present

She is my killed wife

Rejection reaction

We see nothing in the dark room and feel nothing in darkness except heat and cold of atmosphere. However, when a little hole in the roof brings a sunbeam in the room things come in our sight and additional events of happiness, fear and sorrow appear.  In the sight could be a glass of water for the thirsty and drying up throat, scorpions and an anaconda along with a dead body of a dear bitten by the snake may also be there. Narration of Dansatim had opened a hole in the roof of knowledge and the falling beam of light revealed many things of past unexplained or never thought of.

My wife and I was a pair of compatible souls when we came in contact three years before marriage. On the level of souls all men fall only under two categories: effulgent or white and dark or melanic – depending upon base of soul as Sitattadhar and Malinattadhar (1). Both of us belonged to white type. Killing of my wife and usurping her psyche by Swati – a   dark goddess of night – meant turning my wife’s personality into dark type. Our pair was wrecked. My reaction towards Swati occupying my wife surfaced soon. I wished to renounce her and be an ascetic as seen in the diary of my wife.

 My subconscious yearned for abandoning goddess Swati in contrast to conscious self crazy for seeing happiness in association of a young and loving wife and enjoying the world in her company. The possessed physical self and psyche of my wife – committed to me and my love before our marriage and due to association of past lives – felt very unhappy at the situation.  She had to live an insecure life due to the revenge of Swati who was now giving a feeling to my wife that her husband  will abandon her (as I abandoned Dansatim in past).

Problem with my subconscious was that I was not finding a compatible soul in my partner existing till two months after our marriage. Self of my wife was now bereft of allegiance to me, and Swati on her head was turning her into a negative character.  My wife was unaware of my problem at psyche level; and, she   could never imagine that her loved husband was feeling like leaving her so soon after her marriage.  Swati occupied my wife and wreaked our marriage to her satisfaction. But body and psyche of a dead beloved Saab in her was enough to pull us on the track of married life together with love in spite of acrid interjections by Swati occasionally.

I was able to see in vision little fires on the ground before my visit to Baku in November ‘06. After Dansatim’s narration of tragedy in my life, I smiled at the benevolent Saptarchi. She had continued to preserve the warmth of love between my wife and I for 43 years after a violent Swati killed her due to past hatred. Volcanic fire of   Swati was in flames once in Ararat Mountains but died long ago. Little fire of Saptarchi of Baku, worshipped by my ancestor Angirasas, continues to kindle the hearts of people in love till date. The goddess helped us surviving through the high waves of crisis in our marital life.