Part – III

Rise of luminous gods

Section 2: Wounds of the present

She is my killed wife

Ignorance is bliss

The phrase drove straight in my head on March 24 ’07 and shattered the happiness of married life dwelling in us   on account of ignorance. I was only short of crying in pain  when Dansatim told that Swati had killed my wife and usurped her psyche for settling  her past revenge with Tanrinnar who threw her representative in fire.

How does one feel at such moments? Initially I rejected   the information in disbelief. But, slowly events and scenarios of past started revolving with a new meaning, new interpretation and new understanding related to countless unhappy episodes of our married life spanning as far back as four decades. They kept hammering my head and  heart one by one; and, my large ship of married life loaded with short-lived bitterness and longer feelings  of happiness was unable to throw away  my past in the sea to keep it load free. In the beginning it   was sinking slowly, and when I turned helpless to keep it afloat, a wham!

 It dipped and sank with a load of unloadable lead.  I could not cry, “Oh, Swati killed my wife barely two months after our marriage!” A mute me was reacting to my past with a mind already frigid.

I recounted a day of Baku in November 1976, trying to recollect the interpreter’s face as familiar and seen somewhere in past. A flash struck, this was the face of my wife in her young age. But what an irony, even at that age the lady with me with a similar face was not my wife. Saab was already over in my fair girl friend. It was a Swati wearing the body of Saab to punish me for what had happened to Dansatim at Tanrev.  Narration of the charred spirit was irrefutable in view of the events in my life.

 I was an ignorant and happy man so long my past butchered by Swati lay in darkness of unawareness.  Event of my wife’s unusual death and usurping of her body by Swati was related to a surgical operation under anesthesia on October 10, 1963. She had given a vivid account of her death and return to life after operation. Narration of Dansatim shattered the glass vase in my drawing room with ornamental fishes of sweet memories. Little creatures were jumping on the floor, out of water; events of my happiness were now interwoven with threads of anger and sorrow due to Swati.

 I was only recollecting the event when my wife died and lived again to give me company because her soul was not ready to leave me alone. It was an illusion, however; her soul did not return, I realized after the communication from Dansatim. The new soul in the body of my wife was a proxy of Swati parsina. My wife was now merely a left behind custodian psyche and physical self of an erstwhile living real wife with a soul and spirit planted by Swati. Control of soul over the left behind psyche and body was that of  Swati; and, the alien  goddess  had used her forcibly  acquired apparatus to fill me with tension, gloom and unhappiness at most enjoying moments of life like the releasing of ‘Science of Consciousness’ at Nehru Science Centre of Mumbai on June 27 ’97.