Part – III

Rise of luminous gods

Section 2: Wounds of the present

Grief of Dansatim

Moment of breakdown

It was on the night of March 23, 2007 that most important event of attack on Swati materialized after sun had set on day of my Equinox Hom. I recorded at 1430 hours March 24th “Last night drawing of Breastfire (Swati) through her left manas to self right manas to self hrit to abdomen & lower valor (materialized). Pumped again (collected energy) from self manas to Sarasvatee (= Tyrut) manas. …End of Swati’s possession and control of my own mind through her.”

Swati backed by dark gods Tam, Daman, Trit and Trasan   had her first major debacle.

 Swati was no more invincible for me and Tyrut. The four dark gods of Tanrev and Swati were around me since long ago in the past. They and their cohort were present before me even in 2007. I have been seeing their deception, cheating and tyranny through their human mediums for past few years unaware that goddess Tyrut and Chamunda too had sharpened their axes for them; and had their own mediums ready to maul my vile enemies.

Hom of vernal equinox 2007, which marked the first longer day than nights in the northern hemisphere , brought immense relief to the existing life of Tanrinnar, dead and gone more than eight thousand years ago.  Within hours of completing the ritual in the Sun temple at Dehradun, invoking Aton (Sun), Fire, Siva and Kamakhya I could see that my fight against the hegemony of the five demoniac deities was inching towards victory after eight thousand and a few hundred years of suffering inflicted upon me by goddess Swati parsina and her companions of darkness – Tam, Dam or Daman, Trit and Trasan.  Lords of darkness have been chasing me from Tanrev to the very premises of Attadhisthanam of today, through the dead city of Amarna in Egypt, ruined forcibly 3300 years ago after forcing the Sun worshippers to run for life, and then forcing plight on fleeing humanity of Kaba temple in Mecca some 1400 years ago when 360 idols of moving-sun-days were smashed. They have not let my soul avail a day of peace for thousands of years.

 I could see a distant ray of hope for the peace to my soul in my present life. I heaved a sigh of relief after completing the diary. Impact of the event was just opposite on my adversary – the active spirit of Dansatim, commanding me as Swati for over eleven years after I had returned from Catal Hoyuk.

On rare occasions a god, even if vile,  falls from pinnacle of glory into deep, dark and disdainful gorge of shame to face the  pricking moment of helplessness and live with the feeling of inescapable darkness around. Such was a day before the active spirit of Dansatim on the vernal equinox of 2007. She was a much less glorious Dansatim donning Swati parsina. Same was true of goddess Swati as well. She too had fallen from the glory of an ever-commanding Swati parsina who ‘must be obeyed’ else her leopards will pounce upon the defiant man to reduce him to bones. She was now a deity seeing her leopards kicked by a human being.

 Emotion charged, angry Dansatim jumping and dying in the fire of Catal Hoyuk over 8000 years ago wanted to see me doomed by Swati. My wife saw her first as charred profile of apparition in January 2006. Her left behind active spirit shaped as a charred skeleton was doomed now. Dansatim on my head did not lose the feeling of being a representative of goddess Swati even now, but her once helpless victim, pricked on every possible occasion, was standing taller than her goddess, she felt. Poor spirit was now in a mood to cry before her very toy used for enjoying the game of torture inflicted upon him by her as a medium of Swati parsina. Active spirit of the young married girl sitting once on the throne of Swati parsina, and seen now as a charred skeleton, was parching on a girl of Dehradun close to my residence. She realized on the day that Dansatim is a wife as well. Her mask of goddess was off; and, helplessness typical of human beings dawned upon her along with vacuum of her unfulfilled wifehood. The man who was under her torture for years while she was  acting as a medium of goddess Swati had turned into someone different in her depressing moments of darkness. She could never meet her husband while alive; but, on the vernal equinox her spirit saw her husband, responsible for killing her by pushing in fire.

Swati’s force of divinity was receding fast from the active spirit of Dansatim; she was turning into a helpless spirit of a   mauled and hurt married girl who had felt once the flames of community fire cooler than the fire of insult roasting the heart of an abandoned wife.

Dansatim had someone to accuse for her suffering and pain because he had compelled her to jump in the community fire in shame, indignation and indigestible taunts from the girls of her age. Hopelessness of her mind about never meeting her husband lay beyond her nerves, recounted the spirit.