Section 1: Days of peril

Wrath of gods?

Blasphemy boomerangs?

I rushed to office by 10 O’clock on January 17 after reaching home in Dehradun by an early morning flight from Delhi. It was obvious by the time that earning a new wife in the plane had landed me in Hades and fixed me there. I was very hopeful at the airport of Kolkata about melting away of my harrowing trauma of ‘death’ after reaching Dehradun.  My hope not only vanished in thin air as I reached home, I discovered to my utter dismay that midnight sin in the Airbus 300 had pushed me into another nightmare by 10 O’clock in the day while  occupying my chair in the office.

 I was trying to just understand the unusual and unimaginable misery upon me due to the non-physical pairing with the teenager, sitting alone in my office room. Water   was not helping my fast drying throat. Someone was drawing energy out of my hrit (psychic heart on the right side of chest), and I felt that it would burst. A severe pain adjacent to the spinal chord beneath the right scapula was crippling me. There was a burning sensation in the liver, descending down the abdomen and hitting the right side of scrotum. Termination of the creeping sensation led ultimately to an inflammation of the right testes.   I was miserable and in shambles within twelve hours of mating in sky.

“None would believe the story of a non-physical conjugation in the plane and its relationship with my malady,” I said to myself.

 Taking analgesic only accelerated the pain and added to the misery.

  Malun’s command was taking over my mind by the evening. “Lick the organ of your new wife,” commanded the queen. My murder was not enough for the avenging spirit of the Khasi queen. She wanted to see me as a perfect ram, licking sheep’s genital.

Her nonsense and rubbish order was complied helplessly without any protest. A dried up and choked throat and intolerable pain beneath the right scapula had eroded my strength and stubbornness to stand against the abhorring command from the active spirit parching over my head. All my trouble disappeared suddenly after the compliance of the order.

I lived for two weeks either suffering from demoralizing pain of scapula or licking the vulva of the teenager between opening my eyes in morning and sinking myself in the bed at night. There was no other option; there was no way out in my sight.

An ignorant mind like mine of those days was unable to figure out what had bedevilled me. Such a person thinks of God and his own sins under helpless situations and silent sufferings. One also counts his good and vile deeds in past for   carried forward sins besides talking ill against gods and revered men. They could cause unexpected wraths for suffering; it dawned upon me in the moments of stress during the two weeks. I couldn’t even cry under duress; I had to live with my suffering like a deaf and dumb. Hell was a domain of vivid experience for me on the very earth where I had to live day after day till a time not in my sight.

 A day of 1962 was floating in my memory again and again during the second fortnight of January ‘89 when I lived without talking to anyone about my trouble or problems.

I was a young communist in 1962 that had just joined a scientist’s job after M. Sc. My contempt for all the religions was equal; and, belittling the gods was a fashion among communists in the service of science those days. A discussion among the young colleagues of the office in the autumn of ’62 was fresh in my mind still. Long after twenty-seven years I recounted an afternoon-tea when I had condemned all the religions, and their key figures.

 Immaculate Conception of Christianity was ridiculed and the Messiah labelled as an illegitimate vagabond.

A revered figure like Raam of Hindus was assigned arrogantly a shadow-father for his birth that was sleeping with the King’s wife. His real father was compared with a great political figure of those days, referred often as a degenerate and fallen Brahmin among the Hindus. As per a vulgar hearsay of the day, the immoral man had access to the bedroom of the First British Lady in British-India during the forties of the last century. Ram was a gift from such a fallen Brahmin like Jawaharlal to the then King of the land of Aryans, I had propounded.

 Buddha was cited as an evident and more obvious case of an impotent father.  The chap was impotent and his wife begot a child from someone else. Else, who could go to a jungle leaving a young wife and a newborn son?

 Worst hit among the talked figures was Bedouin Mohammad, labeled as Khadija’s slave. H. G. Wells condemns the man for his unedifying life, vanity, greed, cunning and self-deception, I had cited the reference (2).

“He was the filthiest of all revered men for dragging the wife of his son to his bed in the name of Allah”, a young man   had interjected.

Such outrageous and obnoxious were the conclusions of my analysis during the afternoon tea of 1962 on the lines of communist ideology.

Did the blasphemy of 1962 boomerang to silence my virulent and anti-religious tongue? I was suffering and cursing myself for the misdeed against the gods and the revered persons.  This was beyond repair in 1989.

School of the teenager was in the building of a nabob adjacent to our office of 1962. He was a worshiper of Allah-Mohammad, and was dead and gone long ago. His spirit and   the Allah-Mohammad duo must be after my blood, I imagined. Possibly I have to die due to the fructifying curse upon me on account of blasphemy in young age.

Scientist mind of mine had collapsed under the crippling pain beneath the right scapula through scrotum, drying up throat and the stress of licking teenager’s vulva.