Section 1: Days of peril

Wrath of gods?

Am I dead?

The jeep left Isamati at 5 O’clock on January 16 for upward journey in hills towards Shillong. I stopped it on the roadside near Mawsmai 5 Km mark, and moved out for collecting a few rock samples from an interesting ledge of rock. 

 My mind was passing through a storm of paradoxes as I climbed the rock cliff for studying the strata for sampling.   There was no way out for me to shake off a nagging feeling within me that I am dead – killed and finished by the dagger of the queen in the nightmare. My existence was no different than a moving corpse. Harder I tried to shake the morbid feeling off; stronger grew the grip of death upon me. Mine was a state of mental helplessness because it was impossible to imagine that a dead person could climb a cliff and sample rocks for study. 

It took years to analyze and infer what had gone wrong with my mind and me in the nightmare of Isamati because we do not understand precisely the mechanism of death beyond decimation of physical existence. Upanishads talk of death of Brahm in living state when a person reaches Braahman state, which is same as Apbrahm or Abraham state of eternal life. Understanding about psyche, spirit and soul was not in my head in 1989, however. I only believed that I would have surely been dead when the ghost queen killed me if I were a normal person. I survived because I was a Brahm or a half-free spirit since 1981. My death was reality on the psychic plane and my murder in Isamati did set free my spirit for next life. But the psyche in me, nourished by the Brahm for last eight years, turned into an active psyche and did not let me die physically due to psychic force. I continued to live in the later years as a Braahman god or Abraham.