Section 1: Days of peril

Who is goddess volcano?


I was in Varanasi for some research work in the Geology Department of Banaras Hindu University in August ’89.  I was in meditation in the evening when my father appeared in vision .He was unhappy and angry. I remembered the assertion of Malun’s spirit on the airport “You are already dead, existing in the world of dead.”

I accepted the truth of her statement at Varanasi. I was a dead man in the psychic world. But it was equally true that I lived physically with a body, a beating heart and a thinking brain. Upanishad and Vedic works alone talk of such anomalous states of consciousness in man. None else can think about my condition except those who died like me and entered their observations in Upanishads.

 Dead are available and communicable to me, I could see. My father was one of them.  He died on account of some slip in the rigors of Tantra 28 years ago. Malun, dead and gone long ago is perceptible after 1200 years as living as my father dying in 1961. Available to me are also imperceptible deities for request and help during my focused meditation. It was more than obvious that we keep living in the psychic world even after our death as some Upanishads have documented in connection with eternal life..

“Let me now accept the state I am in and live as the destiny has set the days ahead of me; I’m a Braahman god or Vaishvaanar,” I said to myself in the room of   my hotel at Varanasi while preparing to sleep. Etymologically Ap-Brahm (dead Brahm) or Abraham and Braahman are same.

‘Inescapable are karmas of past; one must live them,” my father would recite a phrase in Sanskrit often during his painful last days.

“There is none to blame for the karma-inflicted suffering of mine except myself. I have made mistakes in past lives; who else will suffer?”  I muttered in grief as I prepared to accept my new harrowing situation first time seven months after my murder in the campsite of Isamati. I’m dead is fundamental reality for me; I’m also alive is secondary now.

Let me live as a dead among the dead without any confusion, wavering   of mind   or second thought.

 But, since I am also living bodily and fighting with some of them for survival as a living person, there will be no let up in my efforts to defeat the spirits and gods that want to eliminate me physically till I survive as a man of bone and flesh, I resolved before stretching myself in the bed of hotel room.